Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Filling and draining... filling and draining... on and on and on

*sigh* Why is it that I already feel as if I have been doing this for ever? I can't wait for the PET (Peritoneal Equivalency Test?) that will let the PD clinic know if I qualify for the night-time cycler. And more important, IF I qualify for the cycler, how much fluid, if any, I will have to fill during the daytime... If I'm VERY VERY lucky, it will only be just enough to float the catheter (barely felt); if I'm not lucky, I might still end up doing daytime exchanges... I CAN'T WAIT FOR Dec 26th!

And do you know what all this washing of hands ALL THE BLOODY TIME has done to my poor hands? My skin is cracked and peeling, and no amount of cream or lotion stops the flaking and itching. Yes, you read that right - my farking HANDS are flaking and itching (looks like I have dandruff of the hands). My solution for that is to use disposable latex gloves - I remember the PD nurse telling me that even if I use gloves, I have to treat them like my hands; in other words, even if I do wear disposable latex gloves, I still have to wash them for 2-3 minutes with antibacterial soap, use the Purell where required, etc. Fine, so what if I feel silly washing gloves - at least this will allow my skin to heal and get back to being merely dry.

In fact, by day 2 of my PD training, my hands went from being soft and only requiring lotion once daily after my shower, to looking like the nurses' - dry and wrinkled and old and needing moisturizing cream after every single exchange. It doesn't matter if the nurses' hands look old - they are in their late 50s. My poor hands have got so dry that even not-very-fine cloth catches on them (like I have miniature velcro hooks in my palm *grr*). Now I have to remember to wear gloves while:

a. Rinsing out my catheter belt
b. Doing the dishes
c. Doi
ng anything else (except showering) that involves water

The list of things I have to do is becoming endless - as it is, it takes me 2 hours from the time I get up to the time I come downstairs for breakfast, ready to go out for the day. Roughly one hour to finish my morning ablutions, showering and replacing the exit-site dressing, and then at least another half hour to 45 minutes doing my morning exchange. I really really really REALLY resent the 1 hour and 30 minutes of lost sleep. With the cycler, I will be able to do my usual (and required) 9-10 hours uninterrupted sleep time; having to get up before 8 in the morning, EVERY SINGLE DAY, is really getting me down.

Sorry to end this post on such a downer, but I am thisclose to losing it, today! I miss Amma! And I have to wait 6 long months before she can come back. :(


brinda said...

awww! dropped by to leave a chirpy comment... after reading this, i see that you NEED a chirpy comment -- but i can't think of s single one. "This too shall pass?" does that qualify? "Six months goes by fast-ish?" "worse things happen at sea?" (whatever the hell that means) naaah. this isn't working, is it? oh well, i will be back (said in ominous tones) with a cheery word or three...

Shyam said...

Is going to bed 1.30 hours early, so that you get your 9-10 hours, not an option? Or is it the waking before 8am that gets your goat, not so much the sleep?

Radha said...

it is having to end my day at 10pm - I AM A NIGHT OWL! That means my day doesn't really end until 2am... So yes, that, and the fact that 7-8 hours sleep is still not enough, and having to get up before 8am - THAT gets my goat.

AND the fact that I am chained to a bloody schedule that CAN'T EVER be disrupted - a schedule NOT of my own choosing. Don't get me started, Shyam. I am still in a rotten mood this morning.

Radha said...

Brinda- thanks for dropping by. And thanks for the attempt to cheer me up (that at least made me smile for the first time in days).

Sudha said...

Hi Radha, You have not met me, but you may have seen me in those pix taken at Borth, the thin girl alongside your mother, the other devil as the angelic Shyam puts it :-) Am in Madras now. Shall I go to OMR and put your mother in the next flight to your place :-)
Am full of admiration for you...am sure you will find a balance soon, human beings take two weeks to get used to any shit ;-)
Ten hours of sleep is absolute bliss, and that too without guilt :-) Shyam will tell you why, I am one of those who goes to bed at 10 and wakes up at 7, and I am the butt of jokes of most of my friends for this lifestyle!
ps: this is the first time I've posted a comment!

Shyam said...

Radi, dont believe Sudha. Who is she kidding, bed at 10??? That's a late night for her! :D But it's true that it's the first time EVER that she's left a comment on any blog. Be honoured :)

Maya said...

Radha, I shall pray at Sankarankovil that you qualify for the night-time cycler, which I am sure will bring lots of relief to you. And Dec 26, is just 20 days away... cheer up.

Radha said...

Sudha: I'm duly honoured :D But ending my day at 10pm doesn't mean that I go to sleep then. It just means that I have to go upstairs and start my last exchange of the day, and do various other stuff. I don't actually get to bed until midnight or so. THAT's my sore point :(

And no matter when I get to bed, I have no more than 8 hours to sleep, even on weekends, because I'm not supposed to let the fluid stay in me for more than 8 hours - or it start getting reabsorbed, which negates the whole dialysis thing.

Maya Mami: Thank you, Mami. I will give you a call after you get back from Shankaran Kovil.